met with one of the associate researchers here, he was the one giving us the talk on anthropometrics. it was funny, when we met we were in the process of doing the admin stuff for a couple of days, then he might have heard about. so when we met, and casually he ask how I was, I answered "good" hesitantly while looking at my friends. people started laughing, understanding my hesitance.

so we talked, then I tried to explain my hesitance. I said, I didn't want to sound insincere with a simple good while in reality there was a lot going on. but then he said, something like, OK lets see: do you have clothes? yes, I answered. home? yes, comfortable and warm. food? yes. affection? yes, I said. while thinking what does affection mean? I am a new person in a new country, does strangers affection count? or should I just say no, I don't have affection.. but then he will feel sorry, and I would have to deal with that. bla bla..bla...

so, do I have affection? I'm actually at that part of being in a new place where you have friends but.... it's just not yet comfortable, you know what I mean?

I find affection* -or maybe appreciation- in emails I got from home by people offfering job possibility...funny, how you find joy in tedious things...