so...

i've been really depress lately. i was going no where with my work and it just gets you frustrated and want to take the easy way out... resigning. when i tried to talk about my work and how i have no (discussion) partner, how i needed input, how it should be a process of discussion... i feel people are judging me, thinking that i can't work independently without supervision. then, you just get even lower... the thing is, i really couldn't judge the quality of my own work. i haven't been practicing environmental econ for almost 2 years (last year was negotiation kind of work...and not going back there). i couldn't judge if people didn't understand my work or they simply don't understand yet. but on the other hand, i hear people saying it was already a good draft but no real content-wise comments. like i said, i was getting no where.

yesterday, we spoke with an internasional consultant. to tell you the truth i tried googling him and didn't see much of his work. but yesterday's discussion was convincing. i was really on the right track, and it was good to know. he was re-emphasising my words but in a more clear and eloquent manner (i really need to work on how i explain things. poor students of mine...hahaha). it was not just this time. but we had meetings with an internasional consulting group, prior, who is working on something quite similar, and when they outlined their approach it was exactly the things i thought about. i guess school did teach me something :-)

if i wasn't such a pessimist and a coward, i would have to say i am excited the way my work is progressing...but i am what i am...(more) work/responsibility scares the shit out of me *excuse my french*